I have stepped out, left behind a world, more like environments that no longer serve the healthy version I am becoming. I didn’t know that getting healthy would have me release so much, people, places, and a lot of material stuff that just left me feeling more empty inside.

As I started down my weight loss journey, it quickly became my whole body, spirit, mental stability, health journey. When you start down the road to create a healthy life, no one tells you that your whole world might change in ways you could never have imagined.

My world as of now, looks nothing like when I was unhealthy, I’m not just talking about the number on the scale. I have been diligently working more on what been going inside myself, without a solid foundation the outside doesn’t mean a thing.

It’s like remodeling an old house, if you don’t fix what’s inside the walls, the electrical, plumbing, etc all the beautiful finishes won’t matter. The house still isn’t going to function well, always having to band aid the same old problems, ruining all the hard work just to look good.

I was done not peering inside of myself, done not fixing what was really my challenges, and guess what the lbs were not my problem, they were just one of my many side effects of not loving me, not accepting me for who I am including all the dirty details we never want to admit to.

I have been rebuilding myself from scratch for over 10 years now, and it finally feels like I get to do some of the finishing touches. Healing is a life time journey, but getting to a point where I actually enjoy who I am is priceless. I no longer run from looking in the mirror, because I love me anyways, right here, right now, including all the dirty details!

Guess what, I am not perfect. Who the Fuck cares! This world is messy, whether I want it to be or not. I am going to be living my life from here on out, no longer a spectator.

I have God, yes I will be talking about God a lot, but I wouldn’t have made it this far without him, always reminding myself to take my hands off the steering wheel. I am grateful my world looks different today, and in this world I get to be a healthy, whole embodied, shine my cheering light, and make no apologize for it. I deserve to take up space! Amen!