When I started my blog back in April 2025, every post I made I was high on pot, weed, mary jane, whatever you like to call it. It had been my normal state for so long I didn’t think it was relevant to talk about, and honestly I was ashamed.

When I started smoking pot back in 2016, it was after a life altering medical trauma, after 6 months of healing, not being part of society. The world was very overwhelming upon re-entry. I had already been down the road of antidepressants and I new that I didn’t want to revisit that option.

When I started self medicating, I discovered a part of myself, I didn’t even knew existed, my spirituality. I was also very disconnected within my body, never in the present. For me when I was high I was able to return, to actually process my feelings, and learn how my environments around me, affected me.

Pot did help me heal, but then I became attached, addicted, felt like I didn’t know how to be me without it. It started to become a part of my personality, my sense of self, for me that wasn’t healthy.

Sober me at that time was so different, I was uptight, disconnected for self, my body, and completely detached from my feelings. I was always wishing for a way to entwine the two me’s together somehow.

I noticed these past few years, Pot was starting to do the opposite of help me. So I started taking steps, instead of waking and baking as most call it, I would take intentional breaks, staying sober all day during the week. Once I would light up in the evening or weekend, instead of a feeling of peace it started to become my chaos.

So December 15, 2025 was the last day I smoked pot (when I left Texas), I was so scared! What if I couldn’t access myself in a way, to write my post like I did when I was high? It has been one of the most freeing experiences, not having anything rule my life.

I have such clarity, peace, calm, without it. I know God is the one, who helped me see, understand, that I didn’t want to be that person anymore who is always high! I am so grateful for my refreshed path in life, I enjoy being present, aware, calm all on my own, no assistant from substances that were no longer serving me!

No looking in the rearview mirror, not going back! I am grateful, thankful, and very blessed! Amen