I have had a lot of tragic events throughout my life, without those events I wouldn’t be who I am today. Instead of erasing myself with past regrets, I have leaned into the pain.

This healing journey, has been about healing physically, mentally, leaning into the pain of the past is where all my lessons, wisdom, that has also honed my intuition is. I now look back only to grasp the tools I can use in my present and future. All those tragic events that have happened, it was for a very specific purpose, to create who I am today!

I spent so many years, drinking, using drugs (pot and antidepressants) distraction of endless TV, scrolling, cigarettes, to numb myself from feeling the pain. Filled my life so full and busy, never had the time to face it all, dive deep, look at all the shadows inside me.

I have been living in isolation for the past few months to face all of which I had been avoiding. It hasn’t been easy, it has been grueling at times, wanting to give up., almost did.

God was there right next to me the whole time, lifting me up, getting me out of bed, and sometimes getting me to bed to sleep. God, the angels, and my loved ones on the other side where always there to guide me, love me, and accept me for the mess I was.

To come out the other side, feeling my wholeness, my light within is so bright, calmness, peace, confidence, joy, freedom is all here now because I chose to dance with the darkness inside myself. To look back in regret would erase all the hard work my older versions did to get us where I am today.

The pain is the answer, it’s not easy, but the journey to love yourself will never be easy, but it’s worth it! I am grateful to God for this journey he has paved for me to grow, learn, and use the lessons and wisdom to help those who cross my path, that is my mission.

God helped me grow that light, the fire within so I can help others find it for themselves! Amen!