Walking through my day today, a lot has been bubbling up around family. That saying “blood is thicker than water” is usually coming out of the mouth of the most toxic family member of the bunch.

Blood is thicker than water is an excuse, for disrespect, gossip culture, being done dirty behind your back, my back. Some people are born into wonderful loving, nurturing, supportive families.

Unfortunately, that is not my story. I was born into a karmic family, filled with toxic, unhealed people, behaviors that has been going on within my family for generations. Along with alcohol, drugs, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, mental abuse. I was a participant in the alcohol, and drug abuse for a majority of my life.

The only difference is I decided it was going to stop with me! I didn’t want to be that unhealed, toxic person anymore! I have been doing the work, shadow work, making peace with all the unhealthy versions of myself. I have been leaving behind all the toxic patterns along with the old versions of me, one step at a time.

Family doesn’t mean putting up with disrespect, toxic or unhealed behaviors, we wouldn’t allow our friends to treat us this way, why family? I have been healing myself from what I had allowed for a majority of my life. I have also been protecting myself from further injury, so now I am called the black sheep of the family, so be it!

If protecting myself is wrong, I do not want to be right. I will continue this healing journey. I am healing myself and the generations who come after me, that is important to me. Yes it’s lonely at times, but the company you keep does matter.

God is my savior, he pulled me from all the toxicity, unhealthy patterns I didn’t realize was happening around me. Distance has helped me see a more full picture, a change in perception. I am continuing to cultivate, guard my peace that I have been uncovering on this divine journey God has so lovingly been leading me down. I am very grateful, Amen!